Swim meet at 2 today! Then tomorrow is the swim competition in Texas! Oh fucking yeah.
Try and get out and support if you can!
Sam’s head inclined to look Emily in the eye, trying to gauge the feelings she was projecting through her words. And in that connection of eye contact, he saw that she really meant everything she said. She was pouring it all out for him and so he just laid there, listening. And the words she said made his heart skip, he couldn’t even lie. The smile that spread across his lips was slow and slight, hearing the passion and defiance in her voice, something he always found ridiculously attractive about her. When she wanted something, she would say it and that was just that. As she finished up and gave him that look that suggested the cards were all in his hand, he rolled up onto his side and took a firm grip of her hip, pulling her slight body towards him until their naked forms were flush against each other.
‘So let’s do it,’ he finally said honestly, keeping his hold on her side but loosening his hand slightly. ‘Let’s be together. ‘Cause I want you Em. And I’ve never wanted anyone more in my entire life. Not one person. You are literally the love of my life and I really can’t live one more day without being able to be yours and without you being mine.’ He stopped, waiting with baited breath to see what she’d reply.
Emily loved being able to lay with him again and just talk to him about whatever was on her mind. But, more importantly it had to do with the two of them. A small smile tugged on her lips when she heard him speak again. She really couldn’t describe how much she had missed him. This was the most that they had spoken to each other since the summer and it was a big deal for her. A complete 360 was thrown at her when she heard what he had said. That was the last thing that she thought she would here come from him. Her eyes locked right on his as she tried to figure out what was going on in his mind, maybe it was a joke? She must have opened and closed her mouth numerous times because in her head that’s what she thought she was doing, and probably looked silly at that.
“What?” That was the only thing that was able to come out of her mouth. At least for the time being. She gathered what he had said and thought for a couple minutes, until she broke the thick silence between them. “I don’t know how you deal with me, with all that I have done to you. That was really the last thing that I thought you would have said.” Her nerves had finally calmed down as she let out breath of relief. “Let’s do it.” Emily couldn’t help the smile that was taking over her entire face. She had never felt as happy as she was now. She leaned over to give him a kiss, “I love you so much.” She mumbled against his lips.
I am doing this so I understand you better. Dedicated friend, aren’t I?
Not really. Oh, hey, I have competition in your homeland this weekend. I am going to come back and speak like you!
Sam sighed out a long breath of air, closing his eyes as if to shield himself from Emily’s questions, not wanting to let reality back in for a while but being forced to anyway. His hand stayed in it’s station on her belly but he stilled his actions, all his energy going into working out what he was going to say. On the one hand, he knew that doing this kind of thing could never be as flippant and free as a person wanted it to be and yet on the other, he just wanted them both to will it to be that way, knowing that if they brought up these searching questions and confusion, it was just going to make them miserable. ‘I don’t know,’ he replied finally, his tone honest and quiet. ‘I guess, I’ve had all this stuff bottled up for so long that, once I saw you and we…’ He gestured between them referencing everything that had just gone on. ‘It all surfaced and… Had to make it’s way out.’
Sam pushed himself onto his back, his eyes contemplative as he gazed up at the mottled ceiling. ‘What does this mean?’ he asked, his voice still quiet and low, hesitant to even know the answer and yet needing to anyway. He wanted to know how she felt about him. If he was still the love of her life or just a fuck buddy or what. ‘What do you want this to mean?’
The brunette listened to him closely, letting it all sink in. There was nothing more than just having him as hers again, but who was she to sit around and make all of the calls, even if he did ask her what she wanted. She turned over so that she could look right at him, a small smile forming on her lips. “I just don’t know what to do. I’m sorry Sam, but I think we went over this before..” She mumbled and looked over at the light colored paint on the wall behind him. “I can’t just be friends with you. We came way too far since then and I honestly can’t just go back to that. All I can tell you is that if we aren’t together anymore, I will find some way to deal with it. The feelings will always be there for you, but I would never keep you away from being happy. You deserve it more. Hell, I don’t even deserve you after what I did to you, but somehow, here we are.” Emily casted her eyes right back on the blonde with a slight laugh because the whole situation to her was unbelievable that all she had was the ability to laugh.
“I miss you though. I miss just being able to be with you. I miss us. Sometimes it’s crazy I keep away from you even though I love you so damn much. I never stopped. I know for sure I never did.” She played with her fingers nervously. “I keep away so that one day I know you would end up happy and if that wasn’t going to be with me.” Emily said firmly, even though it killed every part of her inside. “I want to be with you Sam, even if we don’t jump back into this right away, if it just means I can call you mine sometime again, but I can’t just be your friend.”